Who the Hell is Dana Wartz?
The University Center, my place of employment...
I must be an incredibly approachable person because I often get the crazies starting conversations with me, and yesterday was no exception. So, I'm sitting at the front desk and this pudgy woman with wild hair and a minor lisp comes up to me. I love when I ask someone if they need something and their response is "NO" or "Can I get directions to here...". I hate when I ask someone if they need help and I get a partial life history and bizzare questions. So, the lady informs me that she would like to sign up for water aerobics classes. I have nothing against the cardio pumpin' action of water aerobics, but it would be safe to say I don't know a damn thing about it. I've never been to a class, actually I've never even seen the pool on campus. I inform the woman that I know nothing about water aerobics, put I can give her the number to the Aquatics Center, and I also gave her a pretty map with directions on how to get there. After this, she remains at the desk staring at me. At this point I start to realize perhaps there is something a little "off" so I try not to be rude and engage in idle chit chat.
Water Aerobics Facts
1. Indoor pools are good for water aerobics
2. Water aerobics classes costs $80
3. The spring is a good time to take water aerobics classes
4. There are water aerobics classes are offered at quite a few locations in the continental U.S.
These are a few needless things that I have absorbed, undoubtedly forcing something out of my brain that I really might need one day like; how to escape a car that is quickly sinking, how many leaves poison ivy has, where to punch a shark when I'm being eaten alive, and how long a tampon can stay in before I die from Toxic Shock Syndrome.
Well, here's hoping my PMS doesn't cause me to fly off the handle and have a serious case of road rage, that leads to my car flying off a bridge and landing in shark infested water. Because if that happens I'm totally fucked.
I must be an incredibly approachable person because I often get the crazies starting conversations with me, and yesterday was no exception. So, I'm sitting at the front desk and this pudgy woman with wild hair and a minor lisp comes up to me. I love when I ask someone if they need something and their response is "NO" or "Can I get directions to here...". I hate when I ask someone if they need help and I get a partial life history and bizzare questions. So, the lady informs me that she would like to sign up for water aerobics classes. I have nothing against the cardio pumpin' action of water aerobics, but it would be safe to say I don't know a damn thing about it. I've never been to a class, actually I've never even seen the pool on campus. I inform the woman that I know nothing about water aerobics, put I can give her the number to the Aquatics Center, and I also gave her a pretty map with directions on how to get there. After this, she remains at the desk staring at me. At this point I start to realize perhaps there is something a little "off" so I try not to be rude and engage in idle chit chat.
Water Aerobics Facts
1. Indoor pools are good for water aerobics
2. Water aerobics classes costs $80
3. The spring is a good time to take water aerobics classes
4. There are water aerobics classes are offered at quite a few locations in the continental U.S.
These are a few needless things that I have absorbed, undoubtedly forcing something out of my brain that I really might need one day like; how to escape a car that is quickly sinking, how many leaves poison ivy has, where to punch a shark when I'm being eaten alive, and how long a tampon can stay in before I die from Toxic Shock Syndrome.
Well, here's hoping my PMS doesn't cause me to fly off the handle and have a serious case of road rage, that leads to my car flying off a bridge and landing in shark infested water. Because if that happens I'm totally fucked.
posted by iliveinletters at 3:43 PM
2 Comments:
J-Lo - You are a funny bitch, your helpful life tips will someday help me, I'm sure of it.
I can't believe you made a reference to Zuul. That's spectacular. Anyway, this is really funny blog. I think you and I could compete for who has the most ridiculous stories about people approaching us at work.
Post a Comment
<< Home